"What is to be done?" That was the question Vladimir Lenin asked in 1902. On the subject of sex and love in modern society, allow me to make a few suggestions.
As part of the discussion to Roissy's essay, Jealousy, "Vladimir" (not Lenin, I presume), asked me:
In your post, you write: “There are better alternatives to Game.” I’m curious what exactly you have in mind when you talk about these “alternatives.” I honestly have trouble imagining what it could be except either something clueless, or something that boils down to the practical application of some aspects of game that are frequently discussed in forums like this one.This is what I wrote back...
Vladimir: You are correct that I have spent too much time exposing the flaws of Game and not enough time articulating a positive alternative. Hopefully, this post can move the conversation in a new and better direction. So what do I advocate? That’s the million-dollar question. Well, that’s hard to explain in a single blog comment, but here’s a few thoughts to get the discussion started:
First, I’m not sure how familiar you are with Objectivism, but I’m probably about 90% an Objectivist, so Ayn Rand’s philosophy in which men (and women) are encouraged to see themselves (and – if necessary – REcreate themselves) as rational, self-interested, self-confident beings with integrity has major applications for dating, marriage, and romance. As a person gradually adopts and applies Objectivism, their self-confidence increases become they realize how truly capable they are to master life (after all, everything they need to master life is inside their head – their rational mind).
As their self-confidence increases, their happiness increases, and they are more likely to attract a worthy mate (and not such a one-night stand in a bar).
But while I am 90% an Objectivist, most Objectivists wouldn’t accept me as such because I’m also a person of faith, and that extra dimension of faith bolsters the rational, moral Objectivist foundation.
For more, I’d recommend 2 of my essays: First, “The Philosophy of Heather Manning” which is really MY philosophy. Next is “Sex and Love in Modern Society.” Scroll to the bottom where I ask: “What is my advice to hopeless romantics?’ That provides a few more specifics about what I believe in terms of how men should behave, especially when it comes to pursuing women.[END]